Our daily reality and routine is obliterated in an instant by our loss. When we look around, what was so familiar before the loss can now feel so foreign, including being in our own kino (body). Most people who suffer a loss, can experience grief in the physical body. These physical manifestations of grief can be magnified if we don’t allow ourselves to pause and be present with our emotions. With that being said, if you are feeling grief in your kino (body), it does not indicate that you are doing something “wrong”. Where you are in the grief process, is simply where you are, try not to judge yourself. You may be experiencing grief in the physical body with one or more of the following:

• Feeling of tightness in the throat or heaviness in the chest

• Have an empty feeling in the stomach

• Loss of appetite

• Wanting to snack / eat often

• Having difficulty sleeping

• Feeling exhausted all the time

• Sleeping more than usual

• Assuming mannerisms or traits of your loved one

• Increased heart rate for many months after the loss

• Generalized aches and pains in the body

• Decreased immune system and decreased ability to fight off physical illness

• Feeling our sense of taste, smell, touch, hearing, or sight dulled

• Crying at unexpected times 

These are all natural and normal grief responses.

Grief can have a significant and measurable impact on the wellness of your mental body or experience. The grief process can manifest in you with some of the following experiences:

• Sense your loved one's presence

• Talking to your deceased loved one

• Experiencing an intense preoccupation with the life of your deceased loved one

• Dreaming of your loved one frequently or wanting to dream of them

• Playing and replaying the memories of the last days / weeks / hours

• Losing all memory of the first days / weeks / hours after learning of the death

• Losing a sense of time. Moving through the world feeling removed from the experience of time or like you are suspended in a bubble.

• Feeling as though you need to take care of other people who seem uncomfortable around you by politely not talking about your loss

• Needing to tell and retell stories of your relationship and your loss

• Wandering aimlessly, forgetting things often

• Not finishing the things you’ve started

• Feeling restless and looking for activity but find it difficult to concentrate

These are all natural and normal grief responses.

Where our emotions feel “activated”, is where the pain is hiding and where the healing begins. Remember that an emotion that is denied or suppressed may prolong the grief and pain of the loss. There is no time frame to move through these emotions. When you feel ready, this can be an opportune time to start sharing your feelings. When you are able, Recognize your experience, Allow (Accept) it to be what it is, Investigate (Inquire about) your emotions from a neutral space, and Nurture the emotions you are feeling. Utilizing the self compassion R.A.I.N technique, common in meditation, helps to bring mindfulness to the grieving process and honors the experience you are moving through. It takes time to learn how to live with your loss in a new way, because nothing will ever be the same. The emotional reactions of grief can be rather extensive. Some of the emotions you may experience are:

• Feeling guilty at times

• Feeling angry at times

• Feeling guilty or angry over things that happened in your relationship

• Feeling guilty or angry over things that didn't happen in your relationship

• Feeling intensely angry at your loved one for dying and leaving you

• Feeling like it should have been you instead

• Feeling your mood change over the slightest things

• Intensified reactions / responses

• Crying at unexpected times 

These are all natural and normal grief responses.